Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
