Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
