What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
