Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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