I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
