If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize