There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize