apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You pole danced in your parka.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize