You can't special order awesome
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
