Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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