i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
