so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
