like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
