i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
