Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
