feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
