Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
