your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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