your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
