he shaved USA in his pubs
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
