New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was CRYING into my vagina
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize