It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
