Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
