Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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