He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
