I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
pray to the hookup gods
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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