How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
