I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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