guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize