Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
