Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My bed smells like the plague
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
