you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
