I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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