I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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