I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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