that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize