I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
