problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
