My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
