There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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