Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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