Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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