i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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