We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
