Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
