sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
