Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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