I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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