OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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