I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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