If i come over, it means nothing
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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