Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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