Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish my penis had a tongue
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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