I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
