I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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