Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
