oh god the rape fog is back!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
