You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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