He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
