There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
