I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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