Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize