Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just found puke in my bra..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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