I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
