I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
