He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
