A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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