I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
