yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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